What is narcissistic personality disorder?

narcissistic boss. Narcissism. Information about narcissistic personality disorder, such as prevalence, risk factors and symptoms.

Narcissism facts -infographic.

The term “narcissism” has gained popularity over the years due to the rise of social media, influencers, and YouTubers. However, most people have little understanding of what a narcissist truly is or how to identify one, often focusing on just a couple of traits, such as entitlement and a lack of empathy.

What is Narcissism?

In simple terms, a narcissist is someone who is highly self-centered, constantly seeks admiration, and lacks empathy for others. Contrary to popular belief, narcissists do not necessarily have high self-esteem or exceptional intelligence.

Narcissism exists on a spectrum, ranging from individuals who occasionally display self-centered behaviors to those with full-blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). While confidence and self-assurance can be positive traits, narcissists take these to an extreme, often exaggerating their abilities, seeking constant validation, and disregarding the needs of others. Their sense of self-worth is fragile and largely dependent on external reinforcement, making them highly sensitive to criticism or perceived slights.

Despite their outward confidence, many narcissists struggle with deep-seated insecurities. They may create a grandiose self-image to mask feelings of inadequacy, reacting with defensiveness or even aggression when this illusion is threatened. This can lead to manipulative or controlling behavior, particularly in relationships where they seek admiration and dominance rather than genuine emotional connection. Understanding these traits can help people recognize narcissistic tendencies in others and navigate interactions with them more effectively.

Do you want to know whether or not you identify with some (or all) of the NPD symptoms?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) symptoms

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental disorder characterized by a combination of the following symptoms:

Feelings of entitlement (either overt or covert). Example: A person who believes they deserve special treatment, such as skipping lines at a store or receiving promotions without merit.
Self-centeredness. Example: A friend who always steers conversations back to themselves, showing no interest in others’ experiences.
Excessive attempts to be the center of attention. Example: A guest at a wedding who deliberately causes drama to shift focus away from the bride and groom.
Admiration-seeking behavior. Example: An influencer who posts constant updates about their achievements and seeks validation through likes and comments.
Superficial relationships that serve self-esteem regulation. Example: A person who only befriends high-status individuals to boost their own image.
Impaired ability to recognize or empathize with others’ feelings and needs. Example: A spouse who dismisses their partner’s emotions as “overreactions” and refuses to acknowledge their hurt.
Excessive sensitivity to others’ reactions (if relevant to self; otherwise indifferent). Example: A boss who craves praise from employees but ignores their concerns about unfair treatment.
A constant drive for personal gain. Example: Someone who manipulates friends into doing favors for them but never reciprocates.
Exaggerated self-appraisal (which may be inflated or deflated). Example: A CEO who alternates between believing they are a genius and feeling like a complete failure.
Emotion regulation dependent on their self-esteem state. Example: A person who is cheerful and engaging when praised but hostile and withdrawn when criticized.
Excessive reliance on others for self-definition and self-esteem regulation. Example: A student who needs constant validation from teachers to feel competent.
Condescending attitude toward others. Example: A coworker who belittles others’ ideas, believing only their own opinions are valid.
A belief that one is superior to others. Example: A friend who refuses to take public transportation because they think it’s “beneath” them.

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For the official DSM-5-TR criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder, please refer to NPD diagnosis.

For more information about narcissism, go to:

At Barends Psychology Practice, narcissistic personality disorder treatment is offered. Contact us to schedule a first, free appointment.

Narcissistic Traits vs. Being a Narcissist

Identifying with some narcissistic traits does not necessarily mean someone has NPD. In fact, certain narcissistic traits, such as self-centeredness and a strong belief in one’s abilities, can be beneficial. These traits can help maintain a positive self-image [1],[2] and even serve as motivation for goal achievement [3]. Research suggests that a positive self-image is associated with better job interview performance [7] and overall job success [6].

However, problems arise when an individual exhibits too many of these traits, as this can impair their relationships with family, friends, and coworkers. For example, narcissists may exploit relatives or friends without guilt, throw a coworker under the bus when they perceive them as a threat, or turn against anyone who disagrees with them.

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Are there narcissistic subtypes?

Different studies suggest varying classifications of narcissistic subtypes. Some researchers [5] categorize narcissists into three subtypes:

Fragile narcissist – Uses grandiosity as a defense mechanism to protect against feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and loneliness. When this defense fails, rage and deep insecurity emerge. Example: A musician who boasts about their talent but becomes furious and defensive if they receive even mild criticism.
High-functioning/exhibitionistic narcissist – Outgoing, energetic, and articulate, with an inflated sense of self-importance. These individuals use their narcissistic traits to achieve goals and maintain motivation. Example: A charismatic CEO who motivates their team but thrives on admiration and struggles with constructive feedback.
Grandiose/malignant narcissist – Lacks feelings of inadequacy but exhibits intense anger. These individuals crave power and control, manipulate others, lack remorse, and have an exaggerated sense of self-importance. Example: A political leader who manipulates others, lies frequently, and retaliates harshly against critics.

Other studies [4] propose two main subtypes of narcissism:

Narcissistic grandiosity – Characterized by grandiose fantasies, exploitation of others, rage when challenged, and self-sacrificing behaviors if they serve the ego. A social media influencer who exaggerates their lifestyle, exploits fans for money, and lashes out at negative comments.
Narcissistic vulnerability – Marked by hypersensitivity to criticism, mood swings based on fluctuating self-esteem, victim mentality, and distrust of others. They may also feel ashamed of those who fail to meet their expectations. A coworker who becomes deeply upset over minor criticism, frequently plays the victim, and distrusts colleagues.

The fragile narcissist closely aligns with narcissistic vulnerability, while the malignant narcissist resembles narcissistic grandiosity. Further research is needed to confirm these subtypes, but some experts believe a third category—the high-functioning/exhibitionistic narcissist—should also be recognized.

How does someone become narcissistic?

Both parenting styles and biological predisposition can contribute to the development of narcissism. Certain parenting styles, in particular, can foster unhealthy narcissism or exacerbate a pre-existing biological tendency.

Permissive and Overindulgent Parenting:

Excessive praise and child worship by parents or caregivers can contribute to the development of NPD. When children are constantly told they possess unique talents or rarely experience criticism, they may develop a sense of entitlement or grandiosity. Over-rewarding minor achievements (e.g., giving a child an extravagant gift for cleaning their room) can also reinforce these traits. Example: A child whose parents constantly tell them they are “special and gifted” without requiring hard work. When they face failure later in life, they feel entitled to success and struggle with criticism.

Authoritarian parenting:

A lack of empathy or emotional warmth from parents can leave a child feeling frustrated and insecure. If parental affection is unpredictable or conditional, the child may develop low self-esteem, depression, a need to exploit others, and eventually, narcissistic traits. Example: A child raised in a strict household where love is conditional. They grow up seeking approval through achievements, suppress emotions, and later develop narcissistic traits like manipulation and emotional detachment.

Authoritative Parenting (The Healthy Approach)

This balanced parenting style is considered beneficial. It involves both parents playing active roles in nurturing the child, ensuring that love, empathy, and responsiveness are internalized as healthy self-concepts. Example: Parents who set clear rules but also provide warmth and emotional support. Their child grows up with a balanced sense of self-worth, able to handle criticism and maintain healthy relationships.

Traumatic Experiences:

Trauma can also contribute to the development of narcissistic traits and, in some cases, lead to NPD. Experiences such as the loss of a loved one, severe neglect, childhood abuse, or bullying can create deep trust issues. Many narcissists struggle to trust anyone but themselves as a result. Example: A child who is bullied throughout school and, as a defense mechanism, develops a grandiose self-image to mask their deep insecurities. They later become an adult who exaggerates achievements and struggles to trust others.

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Can narcissism be treated?

Research suggests that narcissism can be treated, but with significant challenges. The primary obstacle is that narcissists often believe they are perfect, special, or unique, making them resistant to change. Many narcissists use therapy not for self-improvement but to refine their ability to manipulate others and feign empathy.

Furthermore, most individuals with NPD do not seek therapy unless coerced by a partner or family member. Living with a narcissist can be extremely difficult, sometimes to the point where a loved one threatens to leave if the narcissist refuses treatment.

Schema therapy has proven significantly more effective for personality disorders than Clarification-Oriented Psychotherapy and traditional insight-oriented therapy. It yields higher recovery rates, greater reductions in depression, lower dropout rates, and improved social and general functioning.

Literature

[1] Pincus, A. L., & Lukowitsky, M. R. (2010). Pathological narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. Annual review of clinical psychology, 6, 421-446.
[2] Morf, C. C., & Rhodewalt, F. (2001). Unraveling the paradoxes of narcissism: A dynamic self-regulatory processing model. Psychological inquiry, 12, 177-196.
[3] Lukowitsky, M. R., Roberts, N. R., Lehner, A. N., Pincus, A. L., & Conroy, D. E. (2007). Differentiating forms of narcissism by achievement-related motives and interpersonal problems. In annual meeting of the Society for Interpersonal Theory and Research, Madison, WI.
[4] Pincus, A. L., Ansell, E. B., Pimentel, C. A., Cain, N. M., Wright, A. G., & Levy, K. N. (2009). Initial construction and validation of the Pathological Narcissism Inventory. Psychological assessment, 21, 365.
[5] Russ, E., Shedler, J., Bradley, R., & Westen, D. (2008). Refining the construct of narcissistic personality disorder: Diagnostic criteria and subtypes. American Journal of Psychiatry, 165, 1473-1481.
[6] Judge, T. A., Erez, A., & Bono, J. E. (1998). The power of being positive: The relation between positive self-concept and job performance. Human performance, 11(2-3), 167-187.
[7] Hall, N. C., Jackson Gradt, S. E., Goetz, T., & Musu-Gillette, L. E. (2011). Attributional retraining, self-esteem, and the job interview: Benefits and risks for college student employment. The Journal of Experimental Education, 79(3), 318-339.