Partner with burnout: What can you do to help?

Being in a relationship with someone experiencing burnout is challenging both for the individual partners and for the relationship as a whole. Often, the balance shifts, leaving the partner of the individual with burnout (referred to here as the “partner”) to take on more responsibilities such as household chores, managing finances, and caring for children or pets. Since the individual with burnout often lacks the energy for even the simplest tasks, this imbalance can persist for some time but eventually takes a toll on the partner. Over time, the partner may feel resentful or frustrated, begin to feel like a servant or secretary, and even question the relationship itself.

This guide offers strategies to reduce the impact of burnout on relationships, provides advice on supporting a partner with burnout, and shares tips to ease the burden on the supportive partner. Consider suggesting business coaching if your partner owns a company or holds a leadership role such as CEO or COO.
 

 

At Barends Psychology Practice, we offer treatment for burnout. Go to contact us to schedule your first, free session.

 
 
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Partner with burnout – effects of family life on burnout

Stress at both home and work can contribute to burnout [6],[7]. Factors such as having children, taking on more household chores, having an emotionally unavailable partner, being married (for men), or holding a senior rank (for women) increase burnout rates among working parents. Conversely, having an emotionally supportive partner, reducing household responsibilities, or engaging in enjoyable activities with children instead of chores can lower burnout rates [3],[6],[7].

At the same time, family conflicts tend to increase when jobs are emotionally demanding. For example, negative emotional experiences at work often lead to angrier marital behaviors in women and more withdrawn behaviors in men [1],[2]. This may be because expressing negative emotions is often discouraged at work, leading individuals to release those feelings at home, where it feels safer. Unfortunately, this dynamic often results in more family conflicts [1],[2].
 
In short, burnout not only affects the individual but also negatively impacts family life. Thankfully, there are steps partners can take to help reduce burnout symptoms.

 
 

Partner with burnout – helping your partner reducing their burnout symptoms

Family support plays a crucial role in alleviating burnout symptoms [5]. It includes any form of assistance a partner can provide to ease the burden of burnout.
 

Household chores:

Taking over household chores can significantly reduce burnout, especially for women, who, on average, handle more of these tasks [4]. In households where men manage most of the chores, the same principle applies. The emotional relief from reducing these responsibilities can be significant, especially for someone burned out. Additionally, engaging in enjoyable activities with children rather than focusing solely on cleaning or other tasks is more effective in reducing burnout [6].
Introducing Routines: Establishing a routine can help reduce burnout, procrastination, and frustration. A set schedule ensures that recurring tasks are managed efficiently, minimizing miscommunication and stress.
 
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Clear communication:

Effective communication is essential in any relationship but is especially important when one partner is dealing with burnout. Clear communication reduces uncertainty, minimizes frustration, and prevents unnecessary conflicts [8].

Burnout often makes it difficult for individuals to engage in lengthy conversations or handle emotionally charged discussions due to their extreme fatigue and emotional exhaustion. To support your partner:
• Keep conversations concise and focused.
• Use tools like post-it notes for reminders.
• Avoid lengthy arguments or complaints.
• Be patient, giving your partner the space they need.

For more details on managing communication challenges, visit our page on communication in relationships, click here.
 
Here is a list of common problems regarding communication:
We are interested in your experience regarding communication. Please select the options that apply for you(r partner with burnout) as well:

 

Practicing work-related conversations:

Preparing for challenging work-related conversations at home can significantly reduce stress and burnout [3]. By practicing, the individual can refine their responses, adjust their tone, and gain confidence. This preparation helps lower anxiety, boosts self-assurance, and reduces emotional exhaustion.

 

Being available and pro-active:

Making yourself available and proactive is vital for reducing misunderstandings and tensions in a relationship. While full-time jobs, hobbies, and other commitments can be demanding, being present for your partner makes a difference. Simple actions such as putting away devices like phones or laptops when spending time together show attentiveness and support. Additionally, staying on top of tasks and addressing them promptly can provide your partner with much-needed rest.
 
By implementing these strategies, partners can create a supportive environment that not only helps reduce burnout symptoms but also strengthens the relationship.
 
 

Literature

• [1] Schulz, M. S., Cowan, P. A., Pape Cowan, C., & Brennan, R. T. (2004). Coming home upset: Gender, marital satisfaction, and the daily spillover of workday experience into couple interactions. Journal of Family Psychology, 18, 250.
• [2] Carlson, D., Ferguson, M., Hunter, E., & Whitten, D. (2012). Abusive supervision and work–family conflict: The path through emotional labor and burnout. The Leadership Quarterly, 23, 849-859.
• [3] Noor, N. M., & Zainuddin, M. (2011). Emotional labor and burnout among female teachers: Work–family conflict as mediator. Asian Journal of Social Psychology, 14, 283-293.
• [4] Blanch, A., & Aluja, A. (2012). Social support (family and supervisor), work–family conflict, and burnout: Sex differences. Human Relations, 65, 811-833.
• [5] Bratis, D., Tselebis, A., Sikaras, C., Moulou, A., Giotakis, K., Zoumakis, E., & Ilias, I. (2009). Alexithymia and its association with burnout, depression and family support among Greek nursing staff. Human Resources for Health, 7, 72.
• [6] Lieke, L., van der Lippe, T., Kluwer, E. S., & Flap, H. (2008). Positive and negative effects of family involvement on work-related burnout. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 73, 387-396.
• [7] Fox, M. F., Fonseca, C., & Bao, J. (2011). Work and family conflict in academic science: Patterns and predictors among women and men in research universities. Social Studies of Science, 41, 715-735
• [8] Michie, S., & Williams, S. (2003). Reducing work related psychological ill health and sickness absence: a systematic literature review. Occupational and environmental medicine, 60, 3-9.